Debbie Does Dallas, The Musical

Reviewed by Holly Bartges

Why?

That’s the first question.

(Clockwise from Top) Sherryce Emery, Shelly Bordas, R.A. Clark, Preston Lee Britton, Dina Zainy in Theatre Group’s Debbie Does Dallas

With all of the talent surrounding Theatre Group, why would the Powers That Be even want to consider a flirting with porn script?

The second question is: What happened?

Periodically, I have had reason to question the choice of productions, but rarely have I ever had to question the quality of the productions. Always performed with a skilled cast, always orchestrated in a slick, professional manner.

Not so with Debbie Does Dallas, The Musical currently playing — or attempting to play — at Theatre On Broadway directed by Steven Tangedal. The very small audience last Saturday night spoke directly to the lack of positive buzz floating around.

One piece of publicity claims: “It is the most wholesome show around.” There appears to be a misspelling and it should read “holesome.” And “holesome” for whom?

Racy, raunchy, vulgar, bawdy, it wants to be fun, naughty, silly, but doesn’t seem to know how to accomplish that. Perhaps a cartoon creation where someone forgot to erase the original sketch lines. In its wanting to be fun, silly, and naughty, it bogs down in a muddled puddle of sloppy direction, off-key weak singing, and actors appearing as though they have had their confidence knocked out from underneath them leaving characters going through motions of simulated sex and a wet tee-shirt bounce just for the sake of simulated sex and a wet tee shirt bounce without rhyme or reason.

Undoubtedly, somewhere there are high school students dreaming of becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. A great idea to poke fun at with morality turned inside out, fidelity questioned on the highest level, and naughtiness turned into a frivolous romp on stage.

Ironic symbolism hides somewhere in the script adapted for the stage by Erica Schmidt. If Debbie Does Dallas wants to be a playful spoof, something got lost in the translation turning it into a misspelled “spooph.”

R. A. Clark plays Debbie as though she’s afraid to come in contact with the character. A quiet squeaky voice with repetitive hand and arm motions weakens the songs she sings.

The strongest presence on stage is Shelly Bordas who plays Lisa one of Debbie’s best friends who also wants Debbie’s boyfriend, Rick (Adam L. Brodner), and gets him because of Lisa’s “anything goes” attitude. Shoot, if he wants sex, give him sex.

Preston Lee Britton demonstrates he is a dancer even when he plays Tommy, but is never given a chance to exercise the dance muscles. Tommy hangs onto to a couple of the funniest lines in the entire show. Tommy wants to be in the Senate, “and everyone knows you can’t unless you have an immaculate personal history.” That comes about as the cheerleading squad decides to help Debbie raise money for her bus fare to Dallas since her parents refuse to support such a superficial ambition. Forming a company called Teen Services, their services quickly disintegrate to providing sexual favors to lecherous older men. At the end, when Debbie gets money not only for her bus fare, and hotel costs, but also to take all of her friends with her because money talks while her staunch sense of morality drips down the drain. None of them can or want to go. Tommy plans to head to Washington D.C. to become a Congressional Page.

Yes, of course, Debbie Does Dallas raises scintillating questions about tumbling over the barriers of morality that seem to tumble in our society with the tiniest puff of wind, or blow job as the case may be. When money becomes the object of affection, nothing stands in the way of obtaining it. No one has to see Debbie Does Dallas to know that. Just turn on the nightly news to watch the fun, silly, raucous, rambunctious, and often times hilarious goings on played out across the nation. Oh, Tommy is in for such a rude awakening.

ItŐs not the fact that Debbie Does Dallas flirts with porn for the sake of flirting with porn, it is because the flirting is sloppy, the characters appear to fear showing their faces, and the point of Debbie gets lost in the translation of garbled language.Ironically, George Pulver who plays, the DJ, Mr. Big, and Nick at the record store, spends all of his time behind a barricade representing Mr. Greenfelt’s (Andy Anderson) sporting goods store, and yet he maintains a sense of professional dignity worthy even in a “pornful” attempt at wicked comedy.

Bordas allows Lisa to give the strongest musical number with her “God Must Love A Fool.”

The poor choice of Debbie Does Dallas doesn’t concern me as much as the lack of professionalism for this production when so much heavy duty talent lurks in the shadows of Theatre Group, leaving me still with the question: what happened? Why?

The luke-warm polite applause echoed the sentiments.