The Bible: The Complete Word of God (Abridged)

Reviewed by Holly Bartges

Is nothing scared anymore? Or is everything so sacred the “funsters” freely roam and romp with gleeful celebratory abandonment?

Eric Mather, Chris Boeckx and Seth Caikowski in The Bible: The Complete Word of God (Abridged) now showing at the Avenue Theater.

Perhaps, the second question wins the appropriateness title. Little doubt remains when producers Dave Johnson and Bob Wells turn the Avenue Theatre over to Director Nick Sugar with Adam Long, Reed Martin, and Austin Tishenor’s script The Bible: The Complete Word of God (Abridged).

Tie in three of Denver’s top comedic actors: Chris Boeckx, Seth Caikowski, and Eric Mather, and the promise of a hilarious 90-minute prance through Biblical history compete with Adam’s sore rib from laughing too hard becomes etched in stone. Although, truth be known, Adam indubitably wasn’t laughing all that much from his displaced rib.

Boeckx, Caikowski, and Mather begin at the beginning, the very beginning, when chaos roamed the universe lost in its own void. With the three actors appearing in bright spots dressed in fig leaves of various sizes, the chaos has to either explode into laughter or disintegrate into “Something” holding some resemblance to hysterical form and substance.

Even the tightest Biblical scholar, as well as the would-be’s, want-to-be’s, and the quite-honestly-don’t- careŠto- be’s will appreciate the condensing of a year’s worth of reading into 90 minutes.

The three actors take on 63 roles, including the oh-not-so-three wise men. The women traipsing through the Scriptures aren’t left out in the cold. Mather sees to that, taking on their roles under cover in outrageous wigs, costumes, and the illusion of significant physical adaptations.

Act I wraps itself around the Old Testament, sort of, even though Caikowski insists Noah doesn’t get a fair shake. In the midst of Act II, his self-made determination ensures Noah gets his place in the sun even though slightly misplaced chronologically. Because of a mishap with the ark that has nothing to do with 40 days and 40 nights of rain, or an overload of animals, he brings the audience into animal action.

Contemporary commentary slides easily into the discussion adding to unleashed laughter. A major question plays throughout in the musing if God has a sense of humor. He must, they insist. Why else would He have the Israelites wander the Middle East landing them on the only parcel of land that doesn’t have any oil?

Abel’s sacrifice to God is reduced to a can of Spam while Cain’s sacrifice attracts attention with a pair of brightly colored Fruit of the Loom boxers. No wonder Cain strikes Abel over the head.

A chart containing the Genealogy of Adam is supposed to be enlarged for audience convenience. Mather made the copies all right, but didn’t enlarge the chart. No problem, he had plenty of copies taking great delight in throwing them into the audience, leading into a very funny song of the Begats.

Replicating the Tower of “Babble”, a comment flies by that in dispersing the people into the world, “The Japanese were sent to Japan, Cubans were sent to Florida, and the “Babbles” were sent to Washington D.C.

Caikowski in a hot beard takes Abraham through his covenant with God and his reluctant willingness to sacrifice Isaac. As a voice reverberating off the theatre walls, God stops Abraham in mid-swing with “I was just kidding.”

Moses plays his important role facing the Burning Bush, escaping Egypt, parting the Red Sea, and displaying the Top Ten rejected Commandments which would have little meaning, much less translation, to the early Israelites, but certainly make sense to the here and now.

Somehow “you better not pout, you better not cry” finds its way into quotes from the Psalms.

Caikowski insists on returning to a favorite with “The Lord said to Noah, there’s going to be a floody, floody”. You have to give him credit. He is persistent.

The difference between Elijah and Elisha sends them into a topsy-turvy tizzy over the difference between the Old Joseph and the New Joseph, and all of the various Mary’s.

The end of Act I stares them in the face with 14 more Books to go, rectified with a song including the reminder Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog.

Act II opens with the quote “Many are cold, but few are frozen” from the Book of Goulashes.

Moses and Jesus play golf. The not-so-wise men discover they have all brought the same gifts: baseball mitts.

Boeckx, Caikowski, and Mater all want to play Jesus, and at one point it is just as well, since all are needed at the same time. As John the Baptist, Boeckx takes the audience into the river Jordan with a water pistol. Dressed In a long red something; Mather attempts the impression of Salome wanting John’s head on a platter.

Caikowski insists he spent time during Intermission doing research, and they still haven’t done Noah’s Ark soliciting the song “Old man Noah at an ark e-I-e-I-o”.

The three astute comedians work their way through the adult life of Jesus, the miracles, the last Supper with Boeckx playing Jesus and Mather and Caikowski poking their heads through a cardboard cut out to speak for the 12 disciples.

Wearing a flight jacket, cap and goggles, Mather takes on the role of Pilate. Not too surprising, a Bunny hops across the stage.

Reminded they’ve skipped the Letters, in glittered hats and jackets, in Big Broadway style, the three launch into Revelation, the Musical.

The three hilarious comedic acrobats make it clear it doesn’t matter whether you are Protestant, Presbyterian, Atheist, Muslim, Catholic, Jewish, Scientologist, Nature lover, or attend the Church of the Inner Springs, you’ll roll in the aisles with the Holy Rollers over the “funnily” approach to The Bible: The Complete Word of God (Abridged).

However.

In spite of the creative and fun direction, in spite of appreciation for the talented three comedic actors, in spite of the laughter handed on a silver platter (instead of John the Baptist’s head), a mixture of disappointment came into play. Not for the production, but for the script.

I expected and anticipated total unleashed hilarity, but in all honesty I do not believe the script holds a candle to The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged. The Complete works of the three actors and director (unabridged) were pushed to the limit considering what they had to work with.

The script is reduced to the lowest possible humoristic denominator replacing poignant, pointed, political, and contemporary honest clipped “Funny” with silly not-as-thought- through-as-it-could-be shades of satirical intelligent comedy as it could be. The script shows signs of being all too quickly thrown together in silliness, which is nothing more then a lazy excuse for being funny without having to give much thought behind the words.

The cast makes it funnier then the script is simply because that’s the way they are with talented funniness so well in tact. Sugar keeps them creatively directed, because that’s the only way he knows how: with his ingenious magical touch.

Because of Sugar, Boeckx, Caikowski, and Mather, The Bible remains high on the recommended “don’t miss” list in spite of the current overwhelming theatre schedule.

I just think the script could have been written with more cleverness, faster paced in a straight non-wobbly line with more honest “Funny”.